The Chris Donovan Trust-Learning how to forgive

Recently, I heard Ray and Vi Donovan speak about their son, Chris, who died just over ten years ago. They were truly inspirational so I thought that I would try and spread their message a little further. Chris died after he was beaten up by a group of young people and left on a main road, so he was subsequently hit by a car and died shortly afterwards from both sets of injuries.

Their main message was to encourage people to think about their actions, because many of those involved did not mean to kill him, but because they acted violently, he died and some members of the group were sent to prison for murder. As well as this message, Ray and Vi also talked about forgiveness and the journey they had taken to forgive those people who had killed their son. They spoke about how in order to really be free we have to apologise and forgive one another becasue otherwise we are poisoned by our own hate and we cannot begin to move forward from the things that we have done wrong and the wrongs that  other people have done to us. I found it incredible that they could forgive these people, but they told us that in order to make his death mean something and help other people, they had to stop being so angry and try and reach out to people to try and stop other similar tragedies.

Ray and Vi also talked about the importance of restorative justice and it's importance in trying to heal the damage done by crime. They spoke about the ripple effect, the amount of people that these crimes affect, from Chris' family, to the paramedics who tried to save him. Justice based around revenge, such as life imprisonment that is lifelong or capital punishment widens this ripple effect to so many more people, including the families of the criminals who have then also lost sons. They recognised that in some cases long term inprisonment does help to maintian the safety of society, however, in their case they felt like it only did more damage. They felt that a restorative justice programme that helped them to move onto the right track had to be more beneficial.

I think that Ray and Vi are incredible examples of people who have been able to try and use their loss to help others and make a positive impact on people's lives. They have shown people how to forgive the seemingly unforgivable and how it has set them free. They made everyone they spoke to feel worth something and that it is possible to make a change and not be held back by our problems. Out of the three men convicted for muder, they have met one and hope to meet the other two soon, so I wish them the best of luck with that and continuing to inspire other people.

The Sneakiness of Babies

As this is the very start of my blog, I want to talk about babies. It seems appropriate that at the beginning of this, I should write about the beginning of life and the way that psychologists think that babies are born to make the most of the limited capacity that they have.

Obviously, babies are born completely reliant on others, so they have to have the ability to communicate what they need to adults and inspire them to get it without actually speaking. This is why crying is specifically tailored to activate the nervous system in adults, which is the reason that people find the noise so disturbing and immediately respond. A study published in Acta Pediactrica showed that after adults listened to recordings of birdsong, adults in distress and a baby crying, they had a significantly higher reaction speed after the recording of a baby crying. Some research has suggested that this is due to the pitch as babies tend to have a higher pitched cry when they are in more distress, however, all three sounds were at a similar pitch, so this interpretation seems unlikely. Other research has suggested that it triggers the autonomic nervous system, which is the cause of the physiological resonse, such as the raised heartbeat, which in turn gave the adults a faster reaction time. Exactly which part of the composition of the cry it is that causes this response is unclear, but I think it is safe to assume that it is to do with the basic instinct for the continuation of the survival of the human species.

Another interesting area is the way that a baby is designed to form attachments to those people that interact with them best, even if these are not the people that they see most often. This is most likely to be because the people that spend the time to interact with them best are most likely to understand and care for their needs, so an infant will try and look to them for help. Most often these people are the parents and to maximise interaction with them babies eyes only have one focus when they are born, as the ability to focus their eyes nearer and further away only develops over time. The focus that they are born with is just the right distance to be able to see the face of the person that is holding them and a further way in which they sneakily manipulate adults into doing things for them, is smiling when they see a human face. This is hugely rewarding and therefore makes adults want to help them, again showing how although babies cannot do things for themselves, they are designed to be able to get other peple to do it for them. A newborn isn't fussy about who they smile at and will simle when they see a carboard oval with two dots for eyes, however, this all changes by the time they get to four months old, when they will only smile at a real face or a very good picture. This shows just how quickly babies learn to recognise things in their environment, which again helps them to survive.

So, my blog is born and of it develops as quickly as people, I would be very happy.